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Do friendships have expirations?

Friendships these days seem hard to come by. The thought of starting over, telling your deepest secrets to a stranger, and having to learn a new personality can all be difficult. Some may even say that "older" friendships are best as the need for small talk goes right out the window. An ex-boyfriend of mine once said "history means nothing" right before breaking my heart, and I can't help to think how accurate that statement is for any relationship. So, when does the idea apply to friends? How do you know that a friendship still suits you even years beyond the "honeymoon" phase?

Initially, I start friendships based on common likes and interests; these can stem from similar hobbies to sharing an interest in music. While this is surface level, it gives me an idea about what an individual is like. Furthermore, I like to engage in conversations about morals and values as to decide how myself and others compare on a more intimate level. Overall, this information allows me to choose how close I'd like to be with others and whether there is prospect for us to develop a bond.

On the contrary, how can you tell if a friendship no longer suits you? Personally, I've struggled with the need for validation, acceptance and camaraderie. This stemmed from my poor self-esteem and lack of boundaries as I would beg and yearn for friendship. From this ill intended mindset, I was unable to understand that something as small as allowing others to convince me into things I was uncomfortable with, was a sign of a bad friend. Deeper digging showed that I was a bad friend too.

  1. Telling my friends "I'm not ok with that, but if you are, go for it." when I knew they were making poor decisions

  2. Not reaching back out when communication is initiated, especially if the concern is genuine

  3. Jumping to conclusions

  4. Completely ghosting them whenever I was too sensitive to express what was going on with me

Now that I'm more emotionally intelligent, I am at the point where friendships like the ones mentioned prove that there's an expiration date!

NO matter the history

NO matter the family allegiance

NO matter how close you think you are

LET THEM GO!!!!

An article posted to MSN listed the seven warning signs of a bad friend. The one that resonated the most was disinterest in your growth. Since my journey with my faith has gotten deeper, I have noted that many "friends" have lost interest in having me around. I assume my consistent "No, I'm good on that" has something to do with it. In conversations, I've even been questioned about how seriously I take my faith, but the fact of the matter is, change is uncomfortable! In order to bloom, we must rid ourselves of the weeds, and the conversations that we entertain and what we choose to engage in are just as much of a weed as us falling into "peer pressure". Words can become so deeply rooted in us that they echo in the back of our minds soon after they've been said.

With that being said, do any of your friendships have near future expirations?

 

Want to read more about the signs of a bad friend? Click the link below


7 signs someone just isn't a good friend, no matter your history:



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