As a single mom, I've often questioned my value in the aspects of womanhood, dating, and marriage to say the least. More recently, I've learned that through faith and prayer, everything would work out, but the journey wasn't always easy. Battling against my inner thoughts has been arduous, and I'm sure I haven't been alone in this sentiment . So, let's dig deeper into that, what exactly do some single moms struggle with about themselves?
Will I ever get married?
Why does my child have to be rejected?
How will I balance it all?
When can I find time for me when I have no sitter?
These questions have troubled me time and time again during motherhood. But, what I've found is that these feelings stemmed from unhealed aspects of my inner self. While it took me quite some time to face these issues, I was able to acquire knowledge of the main reasons that hindered my growth.
Reason #1: My false sense of self
Growing up with a poor foundation of emotional security led me down a path of damaged and toxic self identity. Early on, I felt alone and ostracized by those around me causing me to utilize my looks and natural academic ability as my crutch. For a long time, I was accustomed to bragging about my scholastic accolades such as graduating high school a year early. However, these accomplishments hid the internal turmoil of my desire to feel accepted. Thus, I equated self esteem to personal achievements rather than true love for self (i.e. character and morals).
Reason #2: Lack of authentic relationships
It has been proven that humans are creatures that need one another in order to survive. Genesis 2:18 says "The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." In most cases, individuals are able to form alliances that are based on respect, care and/or of mutual benefit. On the contrary, there are some who have been manipulated into them. Ever find out that your friend isn't really your friend? Noticed that you get excluded from group events? You know the "group" you are supposed to be part of. Yet, these same people seek you out when it suits them because they enjoy to extract your kindness without actually having to reciprocate it. This was me, the energy that everyone loved being around just for mere entertainment.
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