Ever notice a shift in your child after they've been gone for a few hours? A weekend? A vacation? Maybe your normally quiet child has begun to exhibit "out of character" behaviors like defying commands or becoming excessively needy. From my own experience, I can happily say that I have rarely encountered this shift, and I owe it to fortune of having guardians and childcare providers who share the same values as me.
The Family
Throughout my daughter's formative years, I have been able to learn the true meaning of "consistency is key". When we are consistent, not only do we get better at something, we create an environment of stability and safety. My family unit for my daughter includes an intimate group of women who have assisted me in holding my child accountable in the areas of proper social behavior, teaching her developmentally appropriate life skills (i.e. how to use the bathroom) as well as embedding morale and character. At three, my daughter understands the meaning of consequences (favorable and unfavorable), therefore, she does her best to avoid misbehaving. Furthermore, she understands the connection between each family member's expectation of her to comply when spoken to. Whether she spends a night or week with these individuals, she acknowledges them as authority figures and knows that she will be held to the same rules that apply in my home; above all, she knows that she will receive the same amount of love.
The Childcare
This one can be tricky. How would you go about finding the right childcare setting for your child? What happens when your tribe is indisposed? Thinking of child care can put one on edge, yet we all may need to consider it at some point. In this aspect, I would rely on recommendations from those who share your parenting style and values. When my child began daycare at 9 months old, I had to rely on the word of others as well as my own intuition. I was able to glean information from my coworkers who used the same childcare provider, but it wasn't until I saw how excited my child became when she saw the daycare workers that I felt at ease. From my observation, I saw that he culture of the daycare was the same as my home, firm but loving. As time went on, I realized how loving and attentive these workers were. They called me when my child had a fever, lost a sock or just to check in on days she was not in attendance.
Overall, these scenarios taught me how paramount it is for a child to be in the correct care. While I understand how crucial it is to have adequate childcare, it is more important that this care is on par with your values. I would suggest the following:
Taking the time to visit and observe childcare facilities while you're still pregnant to avoid having to rush afterwards.
Make a list of what you'd like to observe at these facilities
Cleanliness
Interactions with children
Sleep quarters
Make a list of questions you have for the childcare provider
What a typical day will look like for your child
Accommodations for early intervention services (i.e. speech therapy)
Educational components that children can access
Ask trusted colleagues for their recommendations of centers or at home providers
Whatever you decide, do not be discouraged!
Tune in to Our Video Blogs!
Marriage Over Maternity Video Blog goes up bi-weekly on Thursday Nights. Check us out on the "Marriage Over Maternity YouTube Page"
Note: With these new video blogs, we will be alternating between written and video blogs on a bi-weekly basis. Thank you for the continued support!
Comments