Being a single parent involves so many twists and turns, one being dating. As a mom of a small child, I have found myself apprehensive in this area because of the stigma attached with single parents. Some have stated that "single parents do not have time for a relationship because all of their attention goes to their child" or "what was wrong with you that your co-parent decided to disengage?". While these assumptions are extremely hurtful, we (single parents) have to confidently understand that we too are just as desirable.
Essence magazine published an article titled Is It Wrong For A Man To Not Want To Date A Single Mom? in which they dive deeper into the idea that some men find single women "lowers their standards", thus influencing them to settle. The article further explains that men who have grown up in single parent homes are dealing with the trauma of "having absent fathers, witnessing ongoing conflict between both parents, feeling like they had to choose sides, or not getting enough time with their father.". To add, the belief that women intentionally chose to be single parents plays a crucial factor in the thinking of these men. Overall, Essence magazine wraps up the publication by reminding others to have respect and compassion for single mothers as they are making due with their situations.
On the contrary, there are individuals who have expressed benefit to dating single parents. The website Single Mother Survival Guide states that men find single mothers preferable for the following reasons: "maturity, no game playing, tend to be empathetic, and have a strong work ethic". Furthermore, women have shown interests in single dads too! PR Newswire reported that a 2023 survey on Dating.com revealed that "60% of single women are open to dating single dads". Other findings of this survey illustrated that "75% of respondents reported that a match having a child or children from a previous relationship would have little to no impact on their interest in dating them." as well as "62% of respondents mentioned that they prefer dating single mothers and fathers because of their perceived stronger commitment to family, friends and loved ones." demonstrating that their is hope in finding love while single parenting.
From my personal experience, I have had pleasant experiences where men have shown compassion toward my single motherhood; I would accredit this to many of the points stated above like being empathic and having a zero tolerance for games. I firmly believe that all relationships should begin with the basis of being upfront and setting the tone for what you will accept from the other person. Since your child/ren will be impacted by this individual should you choose to date exclusively, it is crucial that all parties are on the same page and want the same outcomes. Setting the tone will also include some difficult/heavy conversations. Topics such as growing a family, marriage and financial stability should be discussed sooner than later. Even though some believe that this will scare potential partners away, having these conversations actually saves time and potential headaches by filtering out people who do not fit your lifestyle.
That being said, do not allow anyone to dictate your worth! Yes, it may be difficult right now and it may take some adjusting to, but it will all be worth the wait.
Find yourself still thinking about this topic? Read the following articles to gain more insight.
DATING A SINGLE MUM – FROM A MALE PERSPECTIVE!
HOT DAD SUMMER: New Dating.com Survey Reveals More Women Are Looking to Date Single Dads
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