Relationships, a whirlwind of “I love you”, “hey best friend” and “what’s up bro”. Though fun and exciting to be in, all types of bonds require the input of all parties. But, just as its very telling name, sometimes, these ships sink!
Relationship Types
According to Kendra Cherry (verywellmind.com), there are several relationship types; they can fall into these categories, but are not limited to one.
Family- inclusive of relatives (biological or through marriage)
Acquaintances- individuals who we know on a less intimate level
Romantic- individuals whom we are typically emotionally interested in
Friendships- those we deem close to us and we do not have any romantic interest in
Work- coworkers, supervisors, managers, etc.
While these relationship types can shift, there is no doubt that their impact on us can be grand. If these relationships turn out to be toxic or end acrimoniously, why would one want to go back? Well, some may argue that the need for interconnectivity with others or poor esteem play a factor. Yet, sinking ships don't usually float, so one must jump out to save themselves.
Choose not to Rekindle!
Rekindling anything "old" can be tricky. There are so many things to consider and typically reestablishing trust can be extremely difficult; I know for me it was. I have had numerous experiences with taking someone back or trying to re-friend someone, each time, I was distraught when things did not go as planned. Reminiscing would trip me up the most during holidays or special occasions once shared. This would leave me saddened and feeling a false sense of FOMO (fear of missing out), so I would reach out or entertain the other party's advances.
When this occurred, I felt immediate regret! After being in the presence of the person, I would remember all the horrible things we shared and would ruin a "good time" by bringing up the past. I would have to ask myself over and over again "what was I doing around someone who did not value or respect me?". At some points I was longer having fun instead I was watching for the moment when they would disappoint me. Living like this was just emotional torture, and I could no longer choose to partake in this madness.
How could I want to be around this? Being mistreated is now way to live. Distrust, stress, anxiety all tackle you at once when you choose to go back to your own vomit. Emotionally, you feel drained and damaged, to top it off your health deteriorates in the process as negative relationships have high levels of stress. These sustained levels of stress then cause high blood pressure and heart problems.
Then, one day four years ago, I was taught how to love myself. I was set free from my lack of confidence and was slowly walking into stability. Isaiah 43:18-19 says "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." which reminds us of looking ahead to the glory in our lives and the prosperity to come. We shouldn't waste time crying over situations that made us feel less than.
Aren't convinced just yet? Read what others have to say about it
How to deal with a friend breakup: should you ever go back to an ex-friend?https://www.stylist.co.uk/relationships/should-you-go-back-to-an-ex-friend/569755
Stress and Negative Relationship Quality among Older Couples: Implications for Blood Pressure https://academic.oup.com/psychsocgerontology/article/71/5/775/2614058?login=false
How Toxic Relationships Affect Your Mental Health https://www.charliehealth.com/post/how-toxic-relationships-affect-your-mental-health#:~:text=Toxic%20relationships%20can%20have%20a,%2C%20and%20low%20self%2Desteem.
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